Concerning Bi-Polar, Manic Depressive Disorder and ADHD or Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder
On February 1st 2008 Don from Ontario, Canada wrote:
Hello again Wai; I was the one who contacted you about the sound quality of your You Tube brain function piece. I just took time at your site to read your bio and learned that there must be a sort of acausal cosmic conspiracy at work in our correspondence. As it turns out, you and I have very many things in common: our relationship is mutually nourishing and may stretch out into the future or exhaust itself at the end of this sentence. Your bio has already been of benefit to me personally so I will take the time to tell you something about myself after I injure you possibly with a few brutal observations.
The difference between genius and insanity is for most of the inflicted often just a matter of personal confidence. I don’t know if I originated this statement or not but it sounds like it rings true and if I have unconsciously stolen it then let this be my confession. It very well may describe the tightrope you’ve been dancing on since adolescence. It must be difficult for your Asian immigrant parents to deal with such an adventurer. I have some close friends with a restaurant from the Province of Fujo sp. (across the channel from Tiawan) You are the sort one might find described in biographies of those like Vincent Van Goethe and Winston Churchill as well as a host of holy men. Due to many stunning similarities we share in terms of our: upbringing, personal experience as well as our personality, you will just have to extend some measure of trust as I explain both my admiration of and fear for you as I believe I can safely prophesy, many blessings as well as punishing tragedies likely still lay before you. As far as I can reckon, you are one of those rare birds who probably suffers from what medicine describes accusingly as bi-polar affective disorder but who at the same time manages to contain disaster with abiding powers of retrospect. Well, once you add (as you’ve demonstrated in the past), your innate powers of retrospect while dealing with bouts with endogenous depression and mania, I believe and hope you continue to remember: flaps down, gear down and hand on throttle before landing. Truth is so important – was it wind shear or the distraction of fierce fearful joy resulting in an honest stall?? I have few doubts that you would have been diagnosed with ADHD had you been tested as a child.
One of the best reading experiences I’ve had aside from “Genesis” and “John” is Julian Jaynes’ “The Origin of Consciousness in the Breakdown of the Bicameral Mind”. It leaves one figuring if they sent a couple of psychiatrists back in a time machine with hand cuffs and straight jackets – they would probably bring back in shackles the likes of Abraham, Noah and anyone else who hears G-d telling them to either build a large boat or cut their son’s throat. It suggests to me that symptoms like the ones you experience have been shared by some pretty remarkable boys and girls – both famous and infamous.
I am currently beginning a University Study that deals with synchronicity. For the past 12 years – there have been some pretty stunning experiences that they seem interested in. I have “ISSUES” that are quite similar to those experienced by theoretical physicist (Spin Theory) Wolfgang Pauli. He and Jung used to correspond back and forth with letters describing Pauli’s dreams. The same sorts of things seem to happen around me that happened around him. This is where Google “Pauli Effect” originated. It is interesting that aside from the fact that he accomplished much while I haven’t (he was driven and intelligent), we share similar personality type, personal appearance as well as breeding (he 1900 – 1957 was half Jewish). He was thought by many peers and students to be a sardonic monster who quipped to one of his graduate students after looking at his paper something like – “ Is it right? ….. This isn’t even wrong!”
Sorry about this very late reply. Indeed we do have many things in common. No I'm not offended by anything you've said in any of your emails. I used to think I was cyclothymic( Weakened form of bi-polar disorder) but now realize that the boom bust cycles of my youth were probably self induced, thru the careless use of stimulants, from chocholate, caffeine to nicotine and yes of course class A psychoactive drugs. Also the life style I led also gave me a lot of freedom for natural deviation in that there were no checks and balances in place to regulate my behaviour and moods. Now as I approach middle age, avoiding stimulants, doing a lot of meditating and jogging, eating a balanced diet, doing a full time job and being in a stable relationship, I've become... err?.... well, boring and straight I guess. No, not really, I'm being too hard on myself. Doing the talks, website and mission related activities provides me with the necessary wild side to life these days. And yes you're undoubtedly correct, there's going to be loads of trouble ahead. Indeed this line of work can be hazardous.
About the ADHD, yes certainly. I was loads of trouble as a child and more so in my teens. Recently I've reading loads of books about the Frontal Lobes of the brain and this has been really illuminating. It seems that this part of the brain is particularly slow to develop and is implicated in ADHD, as well as Schizophrenia, Schizotypal personality disorder, Autism, OCD etc. etc. I've come to the conclusion my Frontal lobes have really had a delayed coming into full operation. This has definitely contributed to my deviant life style and erratic behaviour in my youth. Normally the frontal lobes mature at around the age 20 but in my case it's probably been around age 30 when I started coming back into the World and started doing the mission. Probably my brain still works abnormally in subtle ways.
It's really interesting what you're studying, synchronicity etc. I'm a keen observer of the synchronous, uncanny and anything suggesting the hand of fate and providence at work. Keep us posted on any revelations or interesting experiences you have.
Keep in touch! Wai